| similar to what was posted on the book of faces: |
[24 Nov 2009|01:23pm] |
"Prosperity, pleasure and success, may be rough of grain and common in fibre, but sorrow is the most sensitive of all created things. There is nothing that stirs in the whole world of thought to which sorrow does not vibrate in terrible and exquisite pulsation. The thin beaten-out leaf of tremulous gold that chronicles the direction of forces the eye cannot see is in comparison coarse. It is a wound that bleeds when any hand but that of love touches it, and even then must bleed again, though not in pain.
Where there is sorrow there is holy ground. Some day people will realise what that means. They will know nothing of life till they do, - and natures like his can realise it. "
- from De Profundis, a letter written by Oscar Wilde
I know this quote seems a little dreary to be posted on such a supposed "happy" day, but if you do know me, you know I'm a fan of honesty when it comes to existence and experience. I rejoice in the honesty of dilligently trying to embrace life for what it is, wonderous and painful. Hopefully you can join in!
twenty three, yay!
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| a simple kind of life |
[16 Nov 2009|12:52pm] |
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I am really too god damn busy to even fart. I made callbacks for the upcoming play called Hay Fever. Leading female role underneath the role of Judith, the mother, who is already cast as one of my professors, Sarah Brown. Eesh. Real nervous. Got cast as Irina in The Three Sisters for Acting III and even though I'm farely excited about it, that's just more lines I'm going to have to get down, real fast. Ah well. Busy little bumble bee who only longs to return to the hive. I miss Texas and all it's simplicities.
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| So since being held up at gun point last Monday |
[02 Nov 2009|01:44pm] |
life has been eerie. Makes me wanna get married to Timothy. Makes me want to travel. Makes me want to kiss all of those people I never did. Makes me want to say what I want to my ex Justin. Makes me want to disregard all of this mindless daily shit i participate in and just dive into the thick of life. But I guess this boring, drudging, schooling, daily life is the thick for me right now. A year and a half. A year and a half. And then I can get the fuck out of this city if I see fit. I really love it here, but I hate feeling trapped anywhere.
Time for Lab!
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| my treasure! |
[16 Oct 2009|11:56am] |
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i
got
so fucked up last night.
don't ever audition for the real world then go to the afterparty which is actually doubling as a frat house's event.
it was just...too much. i woke up still drunk this morning, and i can't ever recall this happening before. eeesh.
i just need to cleant he house and i'll feel better. as long as i make it home from class now. -whiney-
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| used to be melancholy, now its depressed. |
[12 Oct 2009|02:55pm] |
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"Lord thou gavest us immense forests, unbounded fields and the widest horizons,
and living in the midst of them we should indeed be giants-"
- The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov
All jacked up on caffeine, working quite regularly, the break up between justin and i has been going on for way too long...his exgirl still sending me emails about how we should attack him from both sides, his constant texts and cries for help. it's all just a big ploy to bring lauren down, but you know what? these fuckers are gonna be shocked because when the smoke clears, there i will be standing, like the Phoenix, stronger and more beautiful than before.
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| meowy christmas |
[25 Sep 2009|10:49am] |
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alright so this is my fourth attempt at finishing this entry because Penelope keeps walkin' all over my keyboard. friggin attention hog.
saw the avett brothers last night, it was absolutely amazing but i will admit to getting a little too drunk a little too early. luckily there's help for that. oh no, here comes the spotlight kitty again. okay time to do the dishes and get honest: i'm so exhausted from this recent breakup with Justin that even though i still feel love for Timmy and want to reconnect with him, i feel like i've lost hope in my ability to create and maintain a relationship. ah well, as long as i keep this dank ass weed around i'm good.
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| one of my all-time favorite books is being turned into a movie |
[10 Aug 2009|03:46pm] |
by PETER JACKSON! holy fuck me. Click here to watch the trailor for The Lovely Bones.
other updates: life is beautiful. this last little leg of summer has crept up on me and i'm doing my damndest to make it last as long as possible. i'm also doing my damndest to make it as drunk as possible. i'm very lucky to have the safest driver in the world as a boyfriend. i don't want school to start though. school means less Lauren more theatre obligations. i love participating in such a vibrant community but i hate what communities do to you, singularly as a person. lots of paranoia. gross.
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| why yes, |
[24 Jul 2009|11:29pm] |
yes i did buy a dress entirely made out of budweiser labels.
sorry now i'm just showin' off.
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| i brought fresh meat with me to my family reunion |
[24 Jul 2009|01:55am] |
aka Justin. he loved it so much that at the end of it he asked if i'd like to 'go steady.' i said yeah. :)
and btw, ANA MARIA SYLER I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU! if you ever read this, send me an email at JLSCOTT4@memphis.edu. we need to start writing letters, please, i can't deal with not talking to you for this long. love you.
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| lean meat |
[08 Jul 2009|04:02pm] |
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You hold that new girl tight, and I'll keep finding things to control. Smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Every day now i fight tears. Every single day I have to pause to swallow the growing tumor-like lump bubbling up in my throat. Fuck it all. Growing up is about getting lost. It has to be.
if you havent seen that movie Mutual Appreciation, go rent it now.
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| i am |
[07 Jul 2009|03:14pm] |
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a fucking idiot. sailing along completely smoothly, no issues, school's good, work's great, finances ar handled, and after weeks of not checking up on him, i glance at Timmy 's facebook and see a picture of him kissing some girl and the caption was written by his friend Clay and it went something to the effect of, "we almost left him there because he just wouldn't come on, he said it was worth it."
WELL FUCKING GOOD MORNING TUESDAY'S TRIGGER.
i don't know who i think i am or
what i think i deserve.
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[23 Jun 2009|12:43pm] |
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Chunk's three year anniversay came and went. My mother failed to call me, but did text to explain that it was due to her being at a loud concert with her new husband. I hold so much hostility to those closest to me, how fucked up is that?
I can't wait til my family reunion. i can't wait to see my dad and my mom and my state.
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| remember what you told me. |
[16 Jun 2009|11:50am] |
| [ |
music |
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Smoosh - find a way |
] |
Growing up and growing away from the people and places I love, this is no longer something I will bitch about. It's part of life, change is part of life and I have to get over that. I'm not sure how, I feel like I'm busy enough to the point where my mind shouldn't still linger so long on the people who are no longer near me, but somehow it does! Maybe focusing more on the growing up part? Who knows? All I know is I'm tired of crying. call the wambulance.
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| weird like that |
[07 Jun 2009|11:49pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Led Zeppelin - wearing and tearing |
] |
That boy Justin keeps stealing all my attention!
last night = moonshine, free Muck Sticky show, PBR after PBR after
PBR after PBR, McDonald's on the drive home and wild crazy good
sex as an offering to the full moon.
Oh and anaspanic! you woulda been so proud of me today at dance practice, i got approved for another dance.
yay, more sexy moves i can teach you!
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| official drunk entry as follows. |
[16 May 2009|02:55am] |
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its dark. its quiet, the roomie was watching High Fidelity when i came in. silly girl.
MY DATE YESTERDAY WENT SO FUCKING GOOD. it felt like my birthday :) 
ugh, shut up with the cuteness. damnit.
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| my saucy date |
[13 May 2009|08:46pm] |
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I'm going on a date tomorrow to Memphis' BarBQ Fest with the sound guy for MGMT. I asked him what I needed to bring with me and he only responded with "Your boots and that sweet face." he's weally nice with lots of pretty hair that's all dreaded up and a big bushy beard.
he reminds me of a lion.
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[04 May 2009|12:01pm] |
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a combination i'm automatically attracted to: dark hair, dark skin, light eyes and bright teeth.
www.mtv.com/fivedollarcover/
ANYWAYS if you'd like to see how life is here in memphis for artists and working folk, check out these six minute webisodes made by Craig Brewer and an entirely memphian cast and crew. Trust me, it's worth your time. or you can just watch MTV, they'll be playing them on there as well.
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| eeeeeewwwwwww |
[27 Apr 2009|12:15pm] |
| [ |
music |
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brandi carlisle |
] |
i would enjoy getting married to a man like him, my timerthy.
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